Category: Headlines

Magic Numbers for 9 November

2, 8, 12 & 19. No winners so the jackpot next week is £3600.

fa5728f0-8130-43e5-9717-e0332a1752f8

Willand Rovers vs Tavistock AFC match preview.

On Saturday Rovers travel down to the Devon – Cornwall border as we take on an unpredictable Tavistock AFC, after coming off a 5-1 defeat to Bermerton Heath Harlequins as well as winning 2-1 against Mousehole. Rovers with a current record of 3 wins 6 draws and 4 losses have not been too clinical with how they finish games where they have been ahead this season 4 of those have led the village men to not take away all 3 points.

After Saturday’s tough loss to Bashley which made it two 1-0 losses in a row, David Steele and his men will look to make a big difference this weekend with a lot of frustration out of last week’s game where Rovers kept on knocking but couldn’t get the goal in the end as a hoard of shot went at the Bashley keepers way. A disappointed David Steele said: “We could have been there until midnight tonight and not got the two goals we needed.”

There are two main players for Tavistock frontman Liam Prynn who scored 13 goals in all competitions this year. The ex-Torquay man went on loan to Bideford in the 2022/23 season and had a brilliant season there finishing as the top scorer in the southern league. Alex Battle is another player to look out for, the 25-year-old was previously on the books at Plymouth Argyle and Crawley Town, and he also finished as the club’s joint-top goal scorer last season.

The last time out between the two sides was on a cold February Wednesday evening in Tavistock where Willand came out the victors with a 3-1 win over the Lambs with Joshua Baker, Douglas Camilo and Charlie Wright scoring for the village men and Liam Prynn scoring for the hosts.

Willand Vs Bashley

 

“Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.”

 

This line, from American poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox and her poem “Solitude,” is often quoted to convey the idea that people are more drawn to happiness than misery, which can be a delicate balance when it comes to supporting a non-league football team.

 

Comedians are always trying new things in their search for the perfect laugh, a quest which I took upon myself this week, but it’s important to distinguish between “perfect” and “funniest,” with the latter being entirely subjective.

 

If you were to ask me today what the funniest joke was, I would refer you to American comedian Ryan Goodcase and his story of purchasing a Boomerang from Amazon, only to return it and order another ad infinitum.

 

The perfect joke, though, transcends the notion of ‘funny’ and becomes something more ethereal, or at least something based on scientific scrutiny.

 

Developed by Dr. Helen Pilcher, the formula for the “perfect joke” is relatively simple;

 

c=(m+n0)/p

 

The formula calculates a joke’s funniness (c) by balancing comic moments (m), pratfalls (n0), and puns (p). The comic moment integrates the humour of the punchline with the length of the build-up, implying that longer setups require fewer humorous punchlines, while shorter setups necessitate sharper ones, while moments of physical comedy enhance the humour.

 

And as we all know, puns detract from humour in all its elements by prompting groans instead of laughs and should be avoided at all costs.

 

The formula not only provides a mathematical approach to humour but it also highlights the evolution of comedic styles over time. British comedians like Morecambe and Wise embodied slapstick humour, using pratfalls and witty exchanges to entertain audiences. In these routines, physical humour and sharp punchlines fit the formula perfectly.

 

However, as audience tastes evolved, comedy shifted, particularly in the 1970s and 1980s, toward alternative comedy—a style rooted in political and social commentary that challenged formulaic jokes. Comedians like The Young Ones, Alexei Sayle, and Ben Elton embraced humour as a tool for satire, skewering classism, politics, and stereotypes. Here, the ideal joke was less about pure laughter and more about provoking thought, appealing to a generation that craved both entertainment and insight.

 

The 1990s saw another shift with comedians like Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who brought surrealism to the forefront. Shows like Shooting Stars abandoned traditional setups and punchlines, instead using randomness and absurdity to keep audiences guessing. This era showed that humour could be just as effective—and “perfect”—in nonsensical forms, with jokes designed to be unpredictable rather than neatly structured.

 

Today, British comedy combines these influences, weaving slapstick, alternative comedy, and surrealism to engage audiences in fresh ways.

 

The formula for the perfect joke remains elusive, evolving alongside comedy itself as comedians continuously seek new ways to surprise and challenge viewers. But I think I’ve found it.

 

——

 

With both Allen and Hewitt missing through suspension, it was a changed Willand side that took the field to face visitors Bashley, their places taken by Rooke and Miller in a squad that also saw Nathan Byrne return to the bench.

 

Both teams entered the match eager to recover from their recent setbacks, with Willand losing to Shaftsbury in the final minute midweek, while Bashley suffered a 4-0 reverse to Exmouth at home.

 

There was an early chance for redemption for the home team as Rooke stayed strong to get on to a Howe through ball before his shot hit the foot of either the post or Allan in the Bashley goal, depending on your angle and your notepad.

 

Willand continued on the front foot, only to be affronted by the familiar foe of a lack of a final pass, joined this week by the interjection of the referee’s whistle, in a foreshadowing of what was to come.

 

Willand continued to dominate the early exchanges, and the first chance for the visitors came in the 18th minute following a corner, with the ball falling to Holmes, whose shot may well still be travelling as you read this.

 

Rover’s best chance of the half came in the 24th minute; a good free kick routine culminated with Wellington putting the shot past Allan only to see the ball cleared off the line.

 

As the match proceeded, Bashley started to take control, with Walster and Walker coming close to opening the scoring before the pressure finally paid off in the 29th minute. Holmes found himself one-on-one with Burton before side-footing the ball to an unmarked Delaney, who made no mistake from in front of goal.

 

Willand nearly found the equaliser in the dying moments of the half, Wellington doing well down the left before pulling the ball back to Howe, who saw his shot well saved by Allan at the base of his post.

 

Half Time – Willand 0 – Bashley 1

 

Willand came out in the second half with renewed purpose but with nothing more than a pocket full of corners to show for it, and it was the visitors who nearly extended the lead in the 57th minute.

 

Willand were awarded a free kick on the edges of what seemed like a very wide penalty area that quickly morphed into a Bashley chance as they broke past the halfway line, somehow outnumbering the Willand defence. Fortunately for the home team, Burton was on hand to make the save and save the blushes of what appeared to be a training ground fas pas.

 

In truth, the rest of the game passed with little to report, aided by some excellent game management from the visitors and some decisions by the officials. David Steele and his team will rue not taking advantage while they were on top, as well as the 5 yellow card suspension rule, but in the end, there was very little to be happy with and absolutely nothing to laugh at.

 

As for the best joke in the world;

 

Why did the dead chicken cross the road?

 

Full Time – Willand 0 – Bashley 1

Magic numbers for the 2,11,24 are 4,15,22,24 there’s no winners prize for the 9,11,24 is £3575

Match Preview
Willand Rovers v Bashley FC

Rovers welcome Bashley to the Stan Robinson Stadium on Saturday as they look to secure another huge three points on home soil as we push into November.

It’s been back-to-back away trips for David Steele’s men before this fixture as Rovers visited Evesham and walked away with all three points but the trip to Shaftesbury wasn’t so memorable with former EFL veteran Brett Pitman bagging for the hosts on his second debut for the club to seal the points for the hosts.

Moving into the game at hand, the Stags currently sit in 7th in the league which finds them just outside the playoff zone after a handful of good seasons within the league, Bash will want to push on this season as most of their rivals of years gone by are now either in the division above or below.

Dave Lewis’ men struggled in their most recent game on Tuesday as Exmouth Town pulled a convincing win over the hosts on the night but that is a minor blip for The Bash with so far this season they have still turned over the majority of the promotion and playoff favourites so they cannot be underestimated.

One to watch for the visitors on Saturday is midfielder Luke Delaney who has already banged 5 goals this season and helped the Hampshire outfit to some handy wins in their bid to push on into the seventh tier.

Last time out between both sides it was a cold March afternoon with the hosts securing all three down Silver Street with Luke Delaney and now Plymouth Parkway striker Frankie Monk adding to their tallies.

Rovers are yet to beat Bashley in the Southern League so could Saturday finally be the time when we make new history and add another three points onto the board as we head into another tough month of fixtures and the start of the St. Luke’s Campaign?

All to play for.

#WeAreRovers

On a cold Tuesday night in Dorset, it was the matchup of the Rockies vs the Rovers in the Southern League Division One South. Both sides had come off the back of scoring 4 in their previous games which should’ve set it up for a goal fest.

Out of the blocks, a free kick for the hosts came in from the right and the side drilled towards the penalty spot where no one was marking the man in the middle as he had a clear shot on net but George Burton saved it well.

A loose ball from George Burton was played so he could get out of his box and ended with the Shaftesbury attacker trying to take his chance with an open net but in a difficult position just outside of the area he tried to whip it into the far post but it’s too high.

Rovers continued to try and get something in this first half with Some good build-up play as a good opportunity was made as Jacob Wellington shielded the ball from their full-back and crossed the ball onto Owen’s head but he wasn’t there yet and it led to nothing.

Another promising attack followed from Rovers as Owen Howe looked to drill the ball into Harvey Dorothy who wasn’t in the right place and a defender got his boot onto it and sent it for a throw-in.

George Burton brought his A-Game in the first half with a big double save to deny the hosts as he parried the first shot into the path of the Shaftesbury player who got another shot off but George recovered well and could get to that as well in the neck of time.

Willand continued to pressure and carve chances with Harvey Dorothy threading a perfect pass through to Ashton Hewitt as he tried to get onto the end of it but the brave Shaftesbury keeper came out to claim the ball.

George was having the half of his life with another save this time from the feet as a blocked shot found its way to a man at the front post at point-blank range and with a little bit of room to shoot at the front post George could get down and save well at the feet.

The next test for the Rockies was a Free kick in a promising position, River Allen lined up to curve it in from the left-hand side of the box, and with him looking to power the ball into the box a Shaftesbury defender gets his head onto the ball to put it out for a corner.

Harvey was hungry for a goal in the first half with the shot as a long ball was chested down by Owen Howe and saw Harvey Dorothy running into the path of the ball as he tried to hit the volley the first time but he launched the ball over the bar.

Half-time at Cockrams, somehow it ends 0-0 with some chances from both teams but goalkeeper George Burton keeps Rovers in the game. A big 45 was expected out of the lads.

The hosts tried to break the deadlock with a clear-cut chance from the right-hand side as a weighted ball was played through to the right winger and the shot was high and wide towards the far post.

Jack Kennell with his nifty feet played the ball to River Allen and he tried to curl the ball into the bottom left-hand corner of the net. This showed the determination in which David Steele’s men had to get it right in the second half.

10 minutes from time and a very slow second half from both sides with little to no chances for either side even with the subs trying to make a difference nothing is changing.

Shaftesbury fans must’ve been riled up by this point with another big miss from the hosts as the attacker trips over the ball after George Burton is drawn out of his box. The direct response leads to a Willand counter as Fin Rooke and Phil Mendonca link up to drill the ball which ends in a corner.

Late goal for the hosts with EFL veteran Brett Pittman on his second debut for the home side scoring with a looped cross that goes into the centre of the area and the attacker gets his head in it as he gets the ball past George Burton who gets his hands on it.

Full-time on the Dorset/Wiltshire Border and it wasn’t to be on the night for Willand but points to take on board before the next clash in the league with Bashley on Saturday.

#WeAreRovers

Shaftesbury FC v Willand Rovers

Our road trip in the Southern League continues again on Tuesday Night across the A303 to Cockrams where Shaftesbury are the opponents with a 7:45 PM KO.

The away day blues are finally over and it was three points on the board last time out for Rovers with a massive win over Evesham United as the hosts went down to 10 early on in the first half with Willand running riot for the rest of the game with Owen Howe’s second brace of the week and youngsters Phil Mendonca and Jacob Wellington opening their Rovers accounts with a convincing win in Worcestershire.

David Steele spoke to the press after the game and was jubilated with the result and glad to finally get three points on the road after a handful of tough games on the calendar and the preparations to Tuesday’s game are imperative and essential to keeping the run of form.

To the hosts now, Shaftesbury is a newbie to the Southern League for this season. Following their promotion from the Wessex League, the Rockies have had a tough start to life in the eighth tier as they find themselves in the relegation zone at this moment in time with them playing 12 fixtures so far and picking up 9 points.

It seems this fixture has a bit of a thing for 4 goals as Shaftesbury themselves also managed to squeeze past 4 against Cinderford Town in their last game on Saturday with Jack Hoey, Ben Satterley, Liam Farrugia and Remus Nixon scoring on the afternoon.

One to watch for the Hosts on Tuesday night is Ben Satterley who is a creative midfielder who can provide the key to turning games around at crucial points and has taken to the Southern League like a duck to water.

The floodlights are on, the clocks have gone back, and the 3G is laid out. Three points up for grabs on a Tuesday night in Dorset, another test in the Southern League Division One South. All to play for.

#WeAreRovers

Magic Numbers for 26 October were 4, 15, 19 & 23. No winners so the jackpot next week is £3550.

3fec4c68-6c46-485d-aa6b-0ba172c28704