Willand Vs Bashley
“Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.”
This line, from American poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox and her poem “Solitude,” is often quoted to convey the idea that people are more drawn to happiness than misery, which can be a delicate balance when it comes to supporting a non-league football team.
Comedians are always trying new things in their search for the perfect laugh, a quest which I took upon myself this week, but it’s important to distinguish between “perfect” and “funniest,” with the latter being entirely subjective.
If you were to ask me today what the funniest joke was, I would refer you to American comedian Ryan Goodcase and his story of purchasing a Boomerang from Amazon, only to return it and order another ad infinitum.
The perfect joke, though, transcends the notion of ‘funny’ and becomes something more ethereal, or at least something based on scientific scrutiny.
Developed by Dr. Helen Pilcher, the formula for the “perfect joke” is relatively simple;
c=(m+n0)/p
The formula calculates a joke’s funniness (c) by balancing comic moments (m), pratfalls (n0), and puns (p). The comic moment integrates the humour of the punchline with the length of the build-up, implying that longer setups require fewer humorous punchlines, while shorter setups necessitate sharper ones, while moments of physical comedy enhance the humour.
And as we all know, puns detract from humour in all its elements by prompting groans instead of laughs and should be avoided at all costs.
The formula not only provides a mathematical approach to humour but it also highlights the evolution of comedic styles over time. British comedians like Morecambe and Wise embodied slapstick humour, using pratfalls and witty exchanges to entertain audiences. In these routines, physical humour and sharp punchlines fit the formula perfectly.
However, as audience tastes evolved, comedy shifted, particularly in the 1970s and 1980s, toward alternative comedy—a style rooted in political and social commentary that challenged formulaic jokes. Comedians like The Young Ones, Alexei Sayle, and Ben Elton embraced humour as a tool for satire, skewering classism, politics, and stereotypes. Here, the ideal joke was less about pure laughter and more about provoking thought, appealing to a generation that craved both entertainment and insight.
The 1990s saw another shift with comedians like Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who brought surrealism to the forefront. Shows like Shooting Stars abandoned traditional setups and punchlines, instead using randomness and absurdity to keep audiences guessing. This era showed that humour could be just as effective—and “perfect”—in nonsensical forms, with jokes designed to be unpredictable rather than neatly structured.
Today, British comedy combines these influences, weaving slapstick, alternative comedy, and surrealism to engage audiences in fresh ways.
The formula for the perfect joke remains elusive, evolving alongside comedy itself as comedians continuously seek new ways to surprise and challenge viewers. But I think I’ve found it.
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With both Allen and Hewitt missing through suspension, it was a changed Willand side that took the field to face visitors Bashley, their places taken by Rooke and Miller in a squad that also saw Nathan Byrne return to the bench.
Both teams entered the match eager to recover from their recent setbacks, with Willand losing to Shaftsbury in the final minute midweek, while Bashley suffered a 4-0 reverse to Exmouth at home.
There was an early chance for redemption for the home team as Rooke stayed strong to get on to a Howe through ball before his shot hit the foot of either the post or Allan in the Bashley goal, depending on your angle and your notepad.
Willand continued on the front foot, only to be affronted by the familiar foe of a lack of a final pass, joined this week by the interjection of the referee’s whistle, in a foreshadowing of what was to come.
Willand continued to dominate the early exchanges, and the first chance for the visitors came in the 18th minute following a corner, with the ball falling to Holmes, whose shot may well still be travelling as you read this.
Rover’s best chance of the half came in the 24th minute; a good free kick routine culminated with Wellington putting the shot past Allan only to see the ball cleared off the line.
As the match proceeded, Bashley started to take control, with Walster and Walker coming close to opening the scoring before the pressure finally paid off in the 29th minute. Holmes found himself one-on-one with Burton before side-footing the ball to an unmarked Delaney, who made no mistake from in front of goal.
Willand nearly found the equaliser in the dying moments of the half, Wellington doing well down the left before pulling the ball back to Howe, who saw his shot well saved by Allan at the base of his post.
Half Time – Willand 0 – Bashley 1
Willand came out in the second half with renewed purpose but with nothing more than a pocket full of corners to show for it, and it was the visitors who nearly extended the lead in the 57th minute.
Willand were awarded a free kick on the edges of what seemed like a very wide penalty area that quickly morphed into a Bashley chance as they broke past the halfway line, somehow outnumbering the Willand defence. Fortunately for the home team, Burton was on hand to make the save and save the blushes of what appeared to be a training ground fas pas.
In truth, the rest of the game passed with little to report, aided by some excellent game management from the visitors and some decisions by the officials. David Steele and his team will rue not taking advantage while they were on top, as well as the 5 yellow card suspension rule, but in the end, there was very little to be happy with and absolutely nothing to laugh at.
As for the best joke in the world;
Why did the dead chicken cross the road?
Full Time – Willand 0 – Bashley 1
